


Crash Course

by infamousplot



Category: Fate Grand Order, Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Heroic Spirit Dating, M/M, Rare Pair, Romance, a lil nsfw but I think it's ok? nothig graphic, lots of headcanons sprinkled about, mostly or robin with some david thrown in, probably very ooc but i worked hard on it and my ship needs content so here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-26 13:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15664230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infamousplot/pseuds/infamousplot
Summary: Step 1: Get assigned babysitter for King DavidStep 2: Actually get to know himStep 3: Accidentally get a crush on himStep 4: ???Step 5: Oh fuckEvery relationship starts somewhere. Robin just isn't used to them continuing on the next morning. Or the one after that.





	1. The one with the kissing

Robin Hood had been the first. Those first moments had been a shock- summoned into barren white halls, with other Heroic Spirits gathered round, his Master (why the hell was she so young, he had wondered) proclaiming in both cheer and relief that they finally had an Archer.

It had taken him some time to get used to the system. This wasn’t your typical war, and they weren’t your typical Servants. Working together with others toward a common goal was not something Robin Hood was particularly accustomed to, the stories of Sherwood’s Merry Men better attributed to other versions of the Heroic Role he had been summoned to fill. He was the type of guy who preferred to work alone, and that was typically what Servants did anyway- the Master told them what to do, and they carried out the orders. Servants were supposed to kill each other, not work together. Not that he was complaining. Working from the back line was easier when there was actually a front, and that front was made up of people far stronger than him.

It was that sort of mentality that made it difficult to slot in with the others. Being a team player was important. Finding ways to suit their skills to a more group oriented battle system was prefered. Everyone paired off pretty easily around here, while Robin laid back and watched, wondering why everyone else found it so easy to just hang out. Maybe it was his sparkling personality, or his impressive vocabulary when it came to insults, or his inability to keep his opinions to himself, but Robin hadn't found many Servants that seemed interested in getting chummy with him- or any he was all that interested in befriending, either. But that was fine, cuz they had more important things on their plate.

Saving the world was a tall order. Not the sort of thing he’d ever imagined he’d do. And he was just a small piece of this puzzle, but even so. If he could play a part, even if it was just sniping things from the shadows… That was good enough for him.

 

-

 

Things changed when they got the Grail from Okeanos. They went in with one Archer, and came back with a second- and it wasn’t even the cute one.

David, aka the King of Israel, aka a wishy washy womanizer pretending he was still an innocent shepherd boy, aka Robin Hood’s new protege. Because for some reason, Master thought he needed someone to show him the ropes.

“You were new once too, but you figured out everything really fast. I thought it might be nice, since you two are the only Archers here… You could help him adjust to Chaldea, show him how leyshifting and battling works!”

His Master was a nice girl. In some ways, she was too nice, thinking of her Servants as people before the weapons or tools they were meant to be. In other ways, she wasn’t- as tactful and blunt as a battering ram, smashing into the core of the issue and smacking away unwanted behavior. Most mages would stand in awe at the thought of commanding so many Heroic Spirits, wondering how they could possibly control them. Their Master didn’t have a problem laying down the law. She could break your heart with a polite smile, inspire you with dumb fury, and rush through the surreal circumstances they often found themselves in with a terrifying determination.

So when she told him to babysit David, Robin Hood knew he wasn’t getting out of it. The little weirdo was his to look after now. Hoorah.

It hadn’t even taken a minute for Robin to decide he wasn’t a fan of the guy. There wasn’t any one thing he could put a finger on to describe why he didn’t like him, but even just hanging back and listening to how he spoke was enough to give Robin the sense that he wasn’t the sort of guy he liked to hang around. A pain and a pest, a horny little weirdo with a one track mind, he spoke like he only had half an understanding of what was going on at any given time- and if it wasn't something that interested him, then there was no point trying to keep him invested.

As they stood alone in the summoning room, abandoned by their Master, David turned to him, smiling calmly.

“It looks like we’ll be working together from now on.” He said.

“Yep. Lucky me. Always wanted to be a teacher.” Robin replied sarcastically, looking the Archer up and down. Side by side, they must have been a sight to see: one draped in cloth from head to toe, the other flashing more skin than clothing. David chuckled, gratingly, like he thought his response was cute. He hadn’t signed up to be buddy buddy with someone like this. Kings didn’t just come out of retirement, and it showed in how David spoke, how he moved.

“I look forward to learning from you, then.” He said, with soft laughter in his voice. Robin smiled, but it wasn’t a happy one. It was clear already that this was little more than a joke to him, one they would both be entertaining solely for their Master’s sake.

 

-

 

David was annoying. Robin Hood wasn’t sure if there was a better way to describe him. Whenever they went out into the battlefield, he preferred to hang back and heal them, playing his harp and avoiding being hit. He was a typical Archer, keeping away from the front lines, and Robin had no problem with that- what he had a problem was the little shit liked to talk a bigger game than he was ever willing to bring, and that could get old. Ever-victorious king his ass; he was more likely to find David scrambling out of the line of fire, or mysteriously swapped back to their line of back up, than he was to see him actually pulling his own weight on the field.

Even more annoying was the fact that he was strangely easy to talk to. He was so peaceful, so casual, it was easy to forget just who he was sometimes. Robin would start out telling him off for causing trouble, and a few minutes later realize he was venting his annoyances about some other topic, while David nodded sagely and offered advice. It was hard to stay mad at a guy that specialized in soothing foes.

Something about that sort of casual air was nice too though. Being able to go from complaining about David’s bad habits to joking about which Servant they thought was the best comedian, or who was the best chef at Chaldea, or what animals made the best livestock, was actually kind of calming. Being able to drop his guard just a bit and relax, chat about things that didn’t really mean that much, was a welcome relief from the gritted teeth of the battlefield.

“I just don’t think it’s smart to rely on big corporations for resources so much.” Robin shook his head, pausing in his rant to take a bite of one of the sandwiches he’d made for the mission. “They make sure you need them, and then they drive up their prices, and by then it’s too late, cuz they’ve already run all those small places out of business.”

“A smart business would know better than to drive prices higher than its customers can afford. If it can’t make money, it suffers too.” David pointed out, taking a bite of his own sandwich, that Robin definitely hadn’t made for him, he just happened to bring more than he wanted to eat. “Of course, smart businesses are rarely ethical ones.”

“Exactly. But yeah, the end goal is just to get rich people to move in instead so they can keep their prices up. And then drive all the struggling people out.” Robin countered. “The safest bet is to make sure you’ve always got access to resources you need. People should have their own farms. Gardens, at least. If they need food in a pinch, it would be better to be able to rely on yourself, than some company that wants to drain you.”

“But can everyone afford to maintain their own resources in the modern era? Not just money-wise, but time-wise? Most people have jobs that drain them.” David smiled, somewhat sadly. “It’s all a tangled mess as it is. Some people might be able to rely on themselves, but there are many people who unable to, be it because of money or physical ability.”

Robin frowned at this, the gears in his brain churning with determination. How had they even gotten on this topic of conversation? He was pretty sure they’d been talking about those skeleton soldiers they’d been fighting before, then the village they were now on the outskirts of as they ate, and now they were talking about the evils of big business.

“Well, tangled or not, you gotta start somewhere. And the fastest way to undo the knots is to cut as many threads as you can.” He shrugged, decisive. David looked thoughtful.

“But then, how are you going to put everything back together once you clean up the mess? If everything is cut up, then by the time its untangled, the system would be in ruins, wouldn’t it?” David asked, swallowing the last bite of his sandwich. “I agree that you have to start somewhere, and preparing for emergencies is smart, but everyone relying on only themselves can lead to a different strain of problems than everyone relying on manipulative forces.”

Robin grumbled slightly, shaking his head.

“Fine then, how would you fix it, your majesty?” He asked, shooting him a challenging look. David blinked, surprised, and the thoughtful look returned.

“Well… Money is the most efficient way to control people, obviously, but if you remove that from the equation, then I think the focus should be shifted from individuals relying on faceless entities to individuals relying on each other.” David said, stretching out his legs and leaning back on his palms. “A web of interdependence, so to speak. That way people who can’t supply for themselves as easily aren’t left out, and can still have the means to contribute.”

“A web, huh? Yeah, that sounds pretty good.” Robin nodded slightly. If things had been like that when he was alive, then he probably wouldn’t have become a Heroic Spirit. It would have been a peaceful life, where kings weren’t needed, and he could have grown up like a normal kid…

Well, fairytales were nice now and then. He sighed, finishing off the rest of his sandwich.

“I’m guessing that’s not how you ruled.” He smirked at David from beneath his hood. The king in sheep’s clothing looked up at him with a pretty good imitation of innocence.

“Why are you so interested in that aspect of my life?” He asked, cocking his head in a way that could maybe pass for cute, if he wasn’t David. “I’ve mentioned it before, but I’m not much of a king these days. I’m just a shepherd.” He smiled, and though it was warm, Robin could sense the barbs beneath it, challenging him to press the issue further. Robin chuckled.

“Alright, fair enough. Just curious is all. You said so yourself, money is the easiest way to ‘control’ people.”

“It’s not the most pleasant way of looking at the world, but everyone has to make sense of things somehow.” David shrugged his shoulders with an air of awkwardness, and then reached for his harp, pulling it up into his lap and strumming it idly, pretending to look distracted. “People can be confusing, contradictory things. Filled up with and controlled by so many emotions. But wealth peaks an interest. It’s how you get people to listen, how you get them to act, how you get them to organize and ration their lives. And if they don’t respond to it, then, that tells you something about them, doesn’t it?” He smiled, not looking up from his harp.

“And what does it tell you?” Robin asked, watching his slender fingers as they plucked each string, playing an unfamiliar tune.

“That they’re content with their lives in a way most people will never be, and deserving of respect.” David replied easily.

“So people who are desperate for money aren’t deserving of respect?” Robin asked dryly.

“Everyone begins their life deserving of respect. How worthy they are of it as they grow depends on how they treat others. I’ve found that people who already have the most money are easier controlled by the prospect of more. But, I don’t think desperate people are less deserving of respect… And on the other end of things, just because someone is cunning or uncaring enough to use someone’s despair to their advantage doesn’t mean they are worthy of respect.” David chuckled wryly. "If anything, they're probably the least respectable of the bunch. Sacrificing compassion for efficiency is a sure way to earn God's ire."

"You speaking from experience there?" Robin didn't even think before the words left his mouth- it was just the natural response, from an outlaw to a king. It could have been his imagination, but he thought he saw David flinch, for a split second. He was back to calm smiles and gentle plucking in an instant though, seemingly unruffled by Robin's offhanded remark.

"Maybe." David replied. "Or maybe just common sense. A kingdom is a lot like a business, you know. If your only methods are ruthlessness and cunning, there won't be many people willing to support you, will there?" He hummed, eyes closed, all attention focused on the harp. He really was good at it. Robin wondered if his skill with music alone was enough to qualify him as a Caster Class. That would be interesting to see.

The conversation had gotten deeper than Robin had intended it to. Not that there was ever much intent with their conversations. Annoying banter made up the majority of them, and that was easy, because Robin could keep writing David off as the wishy washy airhead he often tried to pass as. It was these sorts of talks that reminded him that it was just an act, though. David was good at playing cute and innocent, and it made his careless comments easier to overlook- but everyone had to show their colors eventually. Robin just wasn't entirely sure what David's were.

He was a shepherd and he was a musician. He was an annoying pretty boy with a passion for womanizing and the lowest success rate known to Chaldea. He was a king who had reigned for decades, driven by efficiency, with a healthy (and perhaps dangerous) understanding of how the world worked. And maybe that was why Robin couldn't just ignore him. Because every time they spoke there was something else Robin hadn't noticed before, another little thread peeking out that he just couldn't help tugging at. David was a weirdo, but there was always something more to him than he initially chose to show.

"Back to your original question- yes, I think that selling materials gathered from monsters would be a very lucrative business. If these towns could mobilize themselves more, they could develop a rather diverse stock. Then we wouldn't have to spend so much time tracking down specific monsters and hoping they drop something when we kill them." David said, decisive.

"That's what we were talking about." Robin slapped his leg. Now he remembered how they'd gotten from point A to point B.

David teased him for getting so caught up in the conversation, and Robin responded crabbily, and then the topic moved to which Servants they thought would make the best spouse, until Master came to tell them they were moving to the next area.

 

-

 

And that was how things were. Eventually his annoying protege was just a part of his life, something Robin forgot to question or even complain about most days. They went on missions. They had lunch together. They gossipped like a couple of school kids. Argued about the most efficient ways to do things. Tried to see who could pick up the most chicks (neither of them ever seemed to get very far, but something had to be said for David’s determination). It was just life, now.

Then things changed.

It started in a field, with the sun shining down, beating on Robin’s dark cloak enough to make him want to take it off. He didn’t though, of course, because that would mean showing off his face- something he prefered to avoid when possible. Up until that point, Robin was rarely without it, unless it was just him and his Master- then, occasionally, he might let his guard down just a bit. Around these other Servants, though, he didn’t see much of a point.

David had just come jogging back from finishing off some nagas, brow slick with sweat, a tired and goofy grin on his face. He didn’t usually enjoy fighting, but sometimes it was hard not to feel satisfied when you pulled through on a fight all on your own. Robin was trying to get him to be more self reliant, since Master had been bringing him to more and more fights. Wishy washy or not, that Noble Phantasm of his was pretty impressive, when he actually bothered to use it. He made it to the top of the hill, panting, before he plopped down beside Robin and… laid his head right down on Robin’s lap.

It was out of the blue. Unexpected, unpredictable. Robin wasn’t sure what the proper reaction was: shove David down the hill, ask him to move, push him off, ignore him. David was laughing tiredly, exclaiming about how unfair it was for their opponents to have such cute faces, acting as though this was the most natural thing in the world, while Robin Hood dug his fingers into the grass, into the dirt, his body rigid with confusion. Contact. When was the last time he had had contact, touched someone he wasn’t punching, been touched by someone he wasn’t trying to avoid being killed by? Not even Master touched him, aside from a light tap now and then, to get his attention. She didn't lean on him. She didn't rest her head in his fucking lap.

“So, how did I do?” David asked, curls splaying out over Robin’s thighs. “It was pretty good, wasn’t it? I’m pretty decent when it comes to dealing with foes bigger than me.” He proclaimed, seeming proud of himself. That really wasn’t anything new, except this time he actually had something to be proud of. If only Robin could focus on that, instead of the slight weight of David’s head, resting upon his outstretched legs with careless ease. Nothing in his expression betrayed any sign that he found this awkward, or amusing. He just looked comfortable, lying there like he’d been invited, stunning Robin so much that he didn’t even think to look away when David gazed up into his hood, a curious look on his face.

“Ah- I never realized what beautiful eyes you have.” David mused. “Such a lovely color. I’ve never seen anything like them before.”

A feeling of shock hit Robin almost as powerfully as if he’d jammed a fork into an outlet, leaving his face on fire. David was smiling up at him, and all Robin could think to do was push him off his lap, sending him rolling down the hill with a yelp of surprise. He tumbled down the grassy slope, eventually slowing as the ground flattened out, and Robin sat there, burning up with confused embarrassment.

Just… Just who the hell did he think he was? Plopping down on his lap like some drunken girl at a bar? Telling him he had beautiful eyes, so effortlessly? Was this some kind of joke? David wound up lying on his back, blinking in confusion. For some reason, all Robin could think to do was wrap his cloak tighter and turn himself invisible, so the dumbass couldn’t see him.

“Eh…? Robin? Where are you?” David called, scanning the hill, like a puppy that had turned around to realize its owner wasn’t where it’d left them. No, wait, that description was way cuter than he deserved. He was just a dumb, dopey shepherd, who didn’t have any idea how to hit on someone. If that was even what he was trying to do. Which it probably wasn’t, right? Yeah.

Why the hell would he hit on Robin? That wasn't how the game went. They could play at being each others wingmen, but turning the tables suddenly, and aiming for him? That didn't happen. It was just a weird joke. A meaningless comment. Obviously.

When their Master finally came looking for them, Robin just pretended he’d gone hunting in the woods, but hadn’t come upon anything. If David thought anything of it, he didn’t show it. Until the next time.

 

-

 

The next time was different. They’d been looking for a bar. Not just any bar, but the Secret Bar. Legend had it that before Chaldea had become the real deal, the bigshot who built it had installed a bar for himself and the employees to use- but once shit had gotten serious, the last director had sealed it up to make sure no one could sneak off to drown their sorrows. The doctor claimed it didn’t exist, and their Master didn’t know anything about it, but David had been sure of its existence, and enlisted everyone’s favorite thief to help him locate it and break in.

Hours of wandering halls that all looked exactly the same hadn’t done much to convince Robin, but even the suggestion of the promise of booze was enough to keep him interested. It wasn’t a rousing game of cards, but it was definitely one way to spend a friday night.

“And you’re sure this place actually exists?” Robin asked, arms linked behind his head, as he walked alongside David. He looked to Robin with a smile.

“Of course! Romani wouldn’t lie.” He said, sounding sure of himself.

“Okay, but why would he tell you?” Robin scoffed. Most Servants avoided the doctor, Robin included. Something about that guy just gave off an untrustworthy vibe. David didn’t seem to have any qualms with him though. He went out of his way to talk to him, pester him, help him with paperwork. The latter usually happened when the doctor wasn’t around to see it though. Robin was pretty sure he hadn’t been meant to see it either, but eh, invisibility meant you sometimes saw stuff that wasn’t meant for you.

“Because I’m a charming and charismatic individual who is good at getting what I want.” David replied airily. “Also, when he denied it the first time I asked about it, I told him that it was fine if the director of Chaldea didnt know everything about the base, and he got flustered and insisted that it was real, and in this wing.” He chuckled softly. Robin snorted.

“Wow. And here I thought messing with the doc would be off limits.” He shook his head, and David laughed.

“Oh, no, it’s far too easy to mess with him for it to be off limits. To me, of course. The rest ought to lay off, really. The man does the best he can with what he was given. He deserves a little slack, now and then.” He smiled, a gentleness to his voice that Robin found almost uncharacteristic. It was weird, with how childish this guy could be, but when it came to the doctor, sometimes Robin would swear David could be downright paternal. Definitely weird. But also kind of sweet.

“Yeah, yeah. He’s a good guy. Just a weird otaku.” Robin chuckled.

“You say that about everyone.” David pointed out.

“Most of the people here are lame-ass otakus.” Robin shrugged. “How are we even gonna know what room this place is in? Literally every door here looks the same.”

“The door is a normal one- there’s no passcode. They just walled it up, so no one could see it.” David explained, looking down the hall. “There are a lot of rooms around here, so our best bet is to look for a section of the wall with a suspiciously small amount of doors.”

Robin nodded. That actually made some sense. Maybe this place was real after all. The thought of getting some actual alcohol was enough to relax him a bit, despite the anticipation. And so they walked, and kept walking, chatting idly as they scanned the walls.

“You know, once we break this down, we won’t be able to hide it from any of the other Servants.” Robin pointed out, thumping on an unnaturally empty expanse of wall. There was a hollow sound from it. Promising. “As soon as they know it’s here they’re gonna be flocking to it.”

“Then we’ll have to make the most of tonight, won’t we?” David’s eyes were aglow with mischief, a small, playful smirk on his face. Though he didn’t want to admit it, Robin couldn’t help finding it endearing.

“Welp, here’s hoping Master doesn’t ground me for destruction of property.” Robin grinned, before ramming into the wall at full force. As expected, it hurt, but the structure shuddered- the thin layer that had been constructed over it not nearly as sturdy as anywhere else. Maybe they hadn’t had time to fill it in, or maybe they hadn’t expected anyone to go looking for it. Either way, it only took a few more tries of Robin slamming his body against it for the wall to crack, and then the rest was child’s play.

The door was large and red, with little bronze studs around the base, and large, golden handles. Robin couldn’t tell if they were real gold or just an imitation, but they were shiny, even after being sealed up.

“Fancy.” He whistled, and gave the door a jostle. Locked. Go figure.

“So, you brought me to bust down the wall and pick the locks, huh?” Robin glanced at David knowingly. If there was a way to get someone else to do something for him then he was usually already finding a way to convince that person to do it. David smiled innocently.

“It is your forte, isn’t it?” He asked. “Getting into places people don’t want you to?”

“You could say that.” Robin grimaced, crouching down to get a look at the lock. It was a bit fancy, but nothing he couldn’t handle. Like David had said, this was his forte.

It only took a minute, before Robin heard the click, and felt the door easing open. Excited, he gave it a push, and there is was. Glittering before them with all its boozy splendor, walls lined with unopened bottles, all glinting in the light from the hallway.

“Finally! We've unearthed it!” David all but cheered, pushing the doors wider to slip in. “Now all that’s left is to enjoy the spoils of our labor!”

“Our labor?” Robin chuckled. The room smelled like dust and beer. “I’m the one who did all the dirty work. You just talked my ear off the whole time.”

“I was your moral support! And besides, without me, you wouldn’t have even known this place existed.” David winked. Robin wasn’t sure why he was so excited- from what he’d seen, David hardly ever drank. But hey, everyone needed to party now and then. In a way, he was glad that David had invited him, and not somebody else. Maybe it was just because he was the most suitable for the job, but sometimes it was nice to just hang out with someone and have a couple of drinks. Maybe David would be funny drunk.

 

-

 

“Jeez, rich people sure know how to buy booze.” Robin laughed, lying on the plush red carpet, his legs splayed out and his head resting on a couch cushion he’d pulled from its proper place. David sat beside him, drunkenly strumming on his harp, trying to sing the words to a song he’d heard in a movie. It had his name in it, so he'd become obsessed with playing it. “I didn’t know alcohol could taste good. I thought it all just tasted like shit and that was the point.” Robin laughed again, his head a little woozy. He wasn’t sure how much he’d had, just that it took a lot to make a Servant drunk, and he was getting there.

“I wonder why they blocked this place off? It’s lovely.” David said, then hiccuped. “If we act fast, we can set up a business here. I could be the bartender and you’d be the bouncer. We’ll charge Servants who want to enter and we’ll be rich in no time.” He purred, definitely tipsy.

“Probably didn’t want a couple of chuckleheads like us coming in and drinking all their stuff.” Robin giggled. “Whatever, not like they need it now. We’re the ones doing all the work, so I think we’re allowed to reward ourselves now and then.” He yawned. “Do any of the Servants here even have money? And what would we even use it on?”

“Buying more stock, obviously.” David replied, plucking more strings. “And we can save some up for after we’ve rescued humanity.”

“What are you going to save it for you weirdo? We’re Servants. Once humanity is saved, we’ll probably just go back to the Throne of Heroes.” Robin scoffed. “We only get to come around when we’re needed. Once we’ve done our job, poof. Back to bed until someone summons us again.” He sighed, before a yawn overtook him. David continued to play his harp, slowly but surely figuring out the notes to the song he was trying to play.

“I heard there was a secret choooord..." He hummed, then paused, forgetting it again. "Hm, maybe, but we could leave the money behind for the staff here. A little something to remember us by.” He smiled fondly. “We might disappear, but at least there will be a sign of our presence.”

“Won’t humanity being saved be a sign of our presence?” Robin pointed out. David sighed, and then, fell back, flopping down on the ground, his head resting on Robin’s stomach.

Instantly, Robin’s mind went blank, the warmth from David’s body seeping into his own. There he was, doing it again- using him like some sort of pillow! And Robin didn’t even have his hood up. It was too late to pull it over his face now, that would just make it obvious that he was trying to hide something. David was still playing his harp, hoing and humming idly.

“I just thought it might be nice to run a business with you, that’s all. I can look for another partner if you’d prefer.”  His eyes were closed, but Robin still felt like he was watching him, analyzing his reaction.

“Yeah right, like you could find anyone else to work with you.” Robin managed to laugh, trying to distract himself from the alien feeling of David’s head on his stomach. “In case you’ve forgotten, you’re pretty annoying.” He teased. It helped him to relax, somewhat, but David didn’t seem impressed.

“I’m good when it comes to business sense.” He huffed. “I think you would make a good bouncer, anyway. What’s the problem?” He peered up at him. “Do you want to be the bartender instead?”

“Nah. I don’t like a job where I have to smile and be polite. Biting my tongue isn’t a skill of mine.” Robin grimaced at the thought. Being a bouncer might be okay, but he didn’t really like the idea of being hired just to decide who gets in and who gets out. Especially when anyone he turned away was probably strong enough to force their way in. “I think we should just empty this place out and store it all in our room. No one will ever know. Except maybe the Doctor, but we can bribe him not to talk.” He grinned, and David giggled.

“I don’t think we’d be able to get all of this back by ourselves.” He mused, looking up at the wall, still lined with bottles. “We’d be spotted, or we’d drop it and make a mess.”

“Well then, I guess we just have to live in here forever. Or until we finish all this off.” Robin decided.

“I wouldn’t mind that.” David yawned, rolling onto his side, so that his head was now facing Robin. There was a sleepy smile on his face, but there was something coy about his expression, and it made Robin’s cheeks prickle with heat. “Some time to relax would be nice.”

“Like you don’t get enough of that.” Robin snorted. He couldn’t avert his gaze without it being obvious, so he was trapped, eyes locked with David’s. His mind decided to make things worse by digging up memories, _Ah- I never realized what beautiful eyes you have_. His face was starting to burn.

“That’s not very nice- I’m almost always on the field with you, I pull my own weight, don’t I?” David pouted. “And when I don’t, there isn’t a lot of slack for you to pick up, right?” He nudged at Robin teasingly. Robin didn’t understand why he was using him as a pillow. What made him think that being this close was normal? Why did he even want to be this close, to him? Just because they worked together every day, and shared a room, and ate meals together a lot, and sometimes spent their free time together… Uh… He lost his point.

“Why are you lying on me?” He finally asked, his brain too preoccupied to think of anything else. David blinked up at him, and smiled.

“You’re comfy.” He replied.

“Oh.” Robin didn’t know what else to say. Such a simple response. But… Well, he didn’t care if he was comfy! You didn’t just plop down and lie on people. Not in Robin’s experience, anyway. He’d never had someone who was so… comfortable around him. Who showed affection so effortlessly. There were plenty of Servants in Chaldea who weren’t afraid to get chummy, and his Master was always trying to pull him out of his comfort zone, but David didn’t bother with formalities- he just went for it. Robin didn’t know what it meant though.

“It’s getting kinda late, huh?” Robin forced a yawn. “Maybe we should call it a night. I think we drank enough.”

“Ready to turn in already? It’s not even midnight yet.” David chuckled, still gazing up at Robin. He wished he could read his thoughts. He didn’t know how to navigate these waters. David was a weird, annoying flirt, but this wasn’t meant to be a come on, right? He was just… resting his head on him. And so what if he called his eyes beautiful that one time? Maybe that was normal where he came from. David also tried to hit on everything that was human-shaped, so maybe he just didn’t know how to turn it off. Yeah. That was probably it.

“Yep. I’m beat. Let’s go to bed.” Robin announced, more decidedly this time, as he sat up, David’s head getting shifted into his lap. There was a look akin to disappointment in David’s eyes, and for some reason this just made Robin blush harder. What the hell did he want?! What was he expecting?! “Hey, what’s with that face? If you think I’m gonna get in bed with you it’s gonna take more than a few beers to win me over, pretty boy.” Robin found himself saying, still buzzed enough to be making bad choices apparently. His brain screamed at him as each word left his mouth, impossible to take back the moment they were spoken. David’s eyes widened, his cheeks turning ever so slightly pink, before a smile crossed his lips, and his eyes narrowed playfully.

“That’s a bit presumptuous of you, Robin Hood. What makes you think I want to sleep with you right off the bat?” He asked, a purr to his voice. Robin really wished he could turn invisible right now, but that was kind of pointless when David was lying on his lap.

“Well then, what do you want?” He spat, wishing his embarrassment would just kill him already. “Because I can’t tell if this whole human pillow thing is your weird way of flirting, or what.”

“I guess I’ll have to be less subtle then.” David chuckled. Robin felt like his brain was frying. “I thought that you were pretending not to notice, but maybe you’re just naive? That’s alright. I don’t mind being a bit more obvious.”

As Robin’s dying brain frantically tried to process what this meant, David had already decided to show him. His lips met Robin’s, and they were softer than Robin had imagined they would be (not that he had ever imagined what they would feel like). They moved gently against his own, and as Robin’s senses slowly returned to him, he found himself starting to kiss back.

He couldn’t remember how many times he had been kissed. That was usually as far as he got, before the girl decided she couldn’t bear the burden of being seen with an outlaw, or the guy who owned the tavern started throwing stuff at him and told him to beat it and stop trying to seduce some innocent young lady. He was lucky to get a kiss back then though, lucky that he’d had more than one, with his ‘reputation’. Now he was being kissed by some pretty boy king in a secret bar, where there was no one to chase him off. And it didn’t seem like David was going to suddenly come to his senses and go home.

David put a hand behind his head, the other being used to prop himself up, and Robin felt strange, tingles running up his neck as David’s fingers played in his hair. He almost reached up to touch David’s hair, but stopped himself. They weren’t both supposed to touch each others hair, right? That would be weird. But what was he supposed to do? Should he hold him? Leave his hands where they were? Just keep kissing? Robin was taking himself out of the moment, overthinking things. Being a cool outlaw wasn’t as easy as he made it look, honestly.

After a minute that felt like ten, David finally pulled away, smiling at him with half-lidded eyes. Robin didn’t know everything about the bible, particularly the stories of King David, but he did know a little, and looking at him right now, for a moment he thought he could understand how Bathsheba might have fallen for this dumbass’s seduction.

“How was that?” Robin found himself mumbling.

“About a good as I imagined it.” David chuckled. Robin tried to wrap his mind around that for a moment. He’d been imagining it? He’d spent time, thinking about kissing him? Him? Why? Robin couldn’t for the life of him understand why this weirdo would be interested in him, out of all the other Servants here. He knew David wasn’t just interested in women, but he’d always seemed like he prefered them, with how he talked- but apparently he’d been daydreaming about kissing him?

“What did you think?” David asked, gazing up at him tenderly. Robin was still burning up. All the effort he had put into crafting an image, of a carefree womanizer who had all the village’s maidens swooning over him, was being swiftly done in; his inexperience revealed by the simplest of flirting. Fucking dammit.

“It was pretty good.” Robin finally managed, wishing there was some way to control his blushing. He wanted to play it cool, but he had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen. “Not the best I’ve ever had, but still good.” He lied, forcing a smirk.

“Is that so?” David looked as though he’d just been offered a challenge, and he was wholeheartedly accepting. “Well then, I’ll have to step up my game a bit.” David sat up properly, angling himself so that he and Robin were at eye level. “Is that alright by you?” He asked. His voice and eyes were calm, but Robin could still feel the flames beneath his words. He swallowed as quietly as he could.

“Bring it on, your majesty.”  

 

-

 

They kissed until Robin couldn’t keep his eyes open, and the next morning, he woke up (still fully clothed) with David’s arms linked around him, their legs tangled up, his cloak like a blanket over them both.

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter! This fic is about a weird little ship that has become very near and dear to my heart. I wanted to write something about them, so I thought that a crash course of how I envisioned their relationship forming and unfolding in Chaldea would be a good place to start. This wound up getting pretty long, but I hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> Just wanted to say that the part with the secret bar was my idea, but I did start to RP it a little on tumblr before I got around to writing this fic. It didn't get very far, but I thought it only fair to mention aeronotch on tumblr, since they were the first one I tested out that idea with, so thank you!
> 
> Also the stuff about money is just... me trying to interpret the FGO Materials for David in a way that doesn't feel like a stereotypical detail, since FGO makes him really fixated on money and efficiency, and the materials say that it's because "human hearts are hard to grasp but money isn't", so the best way I could think to work with that is A) Running a kingdom is like a business and B) saving money is a habit from when he was saving for his son to build temples since he was told not to do it himself. I hope that it came across alright, and if not please let me know so I can try and rework it when I have a chance ><


	2. The one with the (almost) sex

After that, things were different. Good different. Casual, comfortable. 

It took a little while to get used to it- dating someone. It wasn’t 100% official or exclusive or anything, they didn’t walk around introducing each other as boyfriends. But David called him by pet names and Robin brought him flowers he stole from fancy gardens or found in the woods, and there was a lot less personal space between them than there used to be. That had taken some adjusting too.

Robin still wasn’t really accustomed to contact, to touch. In his lifetime, there had only been so many situations where the person who wanted to touch him didn’t want him dead or behind bars. Having someone who loved to drape himself around him, to lean on him or hold his hand or kiss him, was about as alien as it got. Robin still wasn’t entirely sure why David had decided on him. 

He was kind of guessing it was because it was just the easiest. No one else would give David the time of day, but Robin had been stuck with him this long, they might as well both be getting something out of it, right? That was the obvious answer, in Robin’s eyes. He was just being used. But if it felt nice, and Robin was getting something out of it too, then did it even matter? As long as it was just for fun, as long as he didn’t get too invested, then everything would be okay, right?

While the doctor and the mad scientist/artist searched for the next big singularity, everyone was given some unofficial downtime to do whatever they wanted. Which meant Servants were coming and going as they pleased, going on hikes or shopping sprees or day trips to beaches all throughout time and space. Obviously, Robin wasn't about to miss out.

He watched from atop his rock as David floated in the pool beneath, body fanned out like a star, wavering under the water. He had taken off his shirt and shoes, and the padding he wore on his arms, which meant the only thing he had on were those tiny little shorts. Robin wasn't usually the type to stare, but he was technically allowed to now, so he was enjoying the view.

"This was a lovely idea, Robin." David called, splashing his arms a bit. His hair was plastered to the sides of his face, the curls temporarily flattened. It always looked funny, when it lost its volume. Still cute though, like a little wet poodle. 

"Everyone was heading for the beaches, I figured someplace more out of the way would be quieter." Robin shrugged. He was pleased with himself, really, for having picked something nice. The beach was overrated, really, and public pools were nasty to think about. Give him a river or lake any day. "I'm glad you know how to swim. Wasn't sure if they ever taught ya." Robin teased. David kicked his legs, trying to splash Robin, but he was up too high to reach.

"I swam all the time as a child." David puffed out his chest- or at least tried to, while treading water. "Mostly in ponds, and sometimes if the river was low enough that the currents were slow." 

There was something idyllic about it, in his imagination. The young shepherd taking a break from tending to the herd, splashing about in the river for a few minutes before continuing on his way. Robin smiled a little.

"I used to swim when I was little. Mostly in lakes and ponds like this, or in the lazy parts of the river, like you said." He had stolen a line of rope once, and tied it to the thickest branch of a tree that hung over the river. He'd had a lot of fun using it to swing out over the deepest part of the water. The feeling of being airborne for a moment, before plunging into the icy cold of the spring water, was something sort of magical. Then a bunch of older boys from town had found it and taken it over. Had Robin been more spiteful, he might have poisoned their lunches so that they'd go home early with a case of diarrhea, but he'd waited at least a day before resorting to that. Ah, childhood.

"You lived in this region, right?" David asked, swimming over to the edge of the rock and hanging onto it, his legs kicking lazily. "Not the exact area, but this sort of place?"

"You mean the woods?" Robin snorted. "Yeah. Had a little shack, hidden way out deep in the woods. You had to be able to climb through the trees to get to it, so no one ever did." He smirked, age old pride still clinging. He'd been good at what he did. If he hadn't met an untimely demise, he would've kept doing it, until he met a somewhat later untimely demise.

"I meant this part of Europe." David chuckled. "It's nice. I can see the appeal." 

"Glad you approve." Robin peeled a bit of moss off the rock, and flicked it down at David's head, just to see his reaction. It bounced off his hair, and he pouted, trying to splash him again. 

"Are you going to sit up there and watch me all day, or are you going to swim?" David asked, looking up at him imploringly. Robin had taken off his boots, but he still had everything else on, and he wasn't planning on taking it off any time soon. 

"Nah, I'm good. Got a nice view up here." He winked, and prayed that that was as good a line as he thought it was. David looked pleased, so it probably was. Like with anything he wanted, though, David was determined.

"It's even nicer up close~" He floated in a way that Robin assumed was meant to be enticing (and was, actually), but Robin shook his head.

"Someone's gotta keep an eye out for monsters. They might mistake you for a helpless bather, and kidnap you." He teased. The truth was, he just didn't want to take his clothes off. But he didn't want to get his clothes wet, either. Taking down his hood around David had been a step that had taken time to reach- the whole cloak was the next step, he supposed, but he wasn't about to strip down to his skivvies and dive in. Maybe David was fine with that, but Robin was not a fan of feeling exposed.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take." David said, sighing dramatically. "Besides, it will give you a chance to be a dashing hero and rescue me." There was a dreamy tone to his voice, and Robin couldn't tell if he was still joking. He wondered if that was his fantasy- to be a poor prince in distress, awaiting someone to save him. Robin blushed slightly.

"You might be barking up the wrong tree then, Dave." He forced a smirk, resting his chin on one hand. "If you're looking for a chivalrous knight, you'd be better off wooing King Arthur, or part of her entourage. There's that Deermud guy too."

"You mean Diarmuid?" David raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, him. Or his lord. He seems like he might be your type." Robin smiled sardonically.

"I don't need a knight in shining armor." David said, pulling himself up onto the rock. Droplets swung from his hair as he climbed, his skin slick with water. This wasn't the first time Robin had seen him wearing so little- they shared a room, and a bathroom- but it was the first time he'd been so close to him while he was practically naked. And wet and shiny to boot. Hoo boy.

David sat beside him, smiling sweetly. 

"I'd prefer a heroic thief, I think. I'd trust you to get the job done." 

There was no irony in his voice, no sense that he was considering it, or trying to convince himself. He said it like he meant it, and Robin wasn't sure why, but he really hoped that he did. He knew that when they came down to it, David could easily protect himself, and the need for a hero was practically zero, but it was always the thought that counted- and Robin continued to be surprised by the mere fact that David apparently thought about him a lot.

Robin was suddenly possessed by the urge to kiss David, and he realized that he could do that, so he did. Or at least, he was about to, but before he could even lean in, he found himself being shoved into the water. He landed with a splash, his cloak fanning out around him like some big leaf. Spluttering, he looked up at David in surprise. David was beaming with both happiness and mischief.

"You sneaky little shit!" Robin shouted, but he couldn't keep himself from smiling. David stepped back, and then leapt. He sailed over Robin, and plunged down, disappearing beneath the surface for a moment, before bobbing back up.

Robin splashed him the moment  he resurfaced.

"You should have brought a bathing suit." David giggled, splashing him back.

"People swam in all their clothes back in my day. To preserve their modesty. And to promote drowning." Robin smirked. His cloak was actually kind of heavy, but the water wasn't horribly deep, so he'd live. David laughed, apparently finding his joke funny. He was on a roll today.

David swam a bit closer, and Robin felt himself warming up a bit. He leaned his head in to kiss him, and David kissed back, twining his arms around his neck. Kissing in the water was not actually as romantic as people made it out to be. It involved a lot of alternating focus between what your mouth was doing and what your feet were doing. David kept giggling, every time Robin paused to make sure he wasn't sinking underwater, but he didn't give up. David was rarely ready to call it quits when he was having a good time.

"You know, I think this is a little more fun than talking about capitalism." Robin breathed, and David stifled another giggle. 

"Just a little." He agreed. 

 

-

 

There was no reason for them to go back to Chaldea that night, so they made a fire near the water's edge, set out sleeping bags, and hung up their (Robin's) clothes to dry. It wasn't until he'd had to peel off his soaking shirt and tights as the sun set that he remembered why he hadn't wanted to go into the water in the first place.

"You're so pale." David teased, poking at his slightly freckled shoulder. Like most redheads, Robin didn't tan, he burnt. Meanwhile, David's skin was naturally darker, a lovely tan that made his green hair stand out all the more.

"Why is your hair green, anyway?" Robin asked, both as a means of distracting David from making fun of his complexion, and also genuine curiosity. It worked, because David seemed taken by surprise. He frowned thoughtfully.

"I'm not sure. I don't think it was green when I was alive." He admitted, tugging at a curl. "It was brown. I suppose it's just a Servant thing." He shrugged.

"That's weird. Did the Grail think you wouldn't stand out enough like that?" Robin wondered, knowing David wouldn't have an answer.

"I don't know, honestly. I don't mind it though. It's cute." He smiled. Robin supposed be could agree there. "Were you always a redhead, or was that the Grail's decision?"

"Pretty sure I was always a redhead." Robin nodded. If he hadn't been, he couldn't remember. "Always wore green, too. It's a Robin Hood thing." 

"Well, it makes sense, you mostly fought in the woods. Green is a useful color there." David smiled. He was watching Robin, eyes on his chest, his arms. The fire crackled quietly before them, its light flickering off Robin's wet skin, making him look shinier. Robin tried to think of something else they could talk about to distract him, but his brain wasn't working fast enough, too busy letting him get flustered.

"Yeah. I was a strategic guy." Robin finally said, shrugging. He turned his gaze up to the trees, where the smoke was slowly spiralling. Through a few gaps in the canopy, he could see a few stars beginning to wink at them. It was a nice night to be outside, that was for sure. Warm, even without the fire. "Which is why I brought sleeping bags. Cuz I'm so strategic."

"You brought sleeping bags, but no bathing suit?" David chuckled.

"Well, I wasn't planning on going swimming. I hadn't taken your plans into account." Robin reminded him.

"Wasn't swimming the whole point of coming to a pond?" David seemed amused. He was sitting very close to Robin, still not wearing his own clothes yet, besides his very tiny shorts. Robin was trying hard not to think about it too much.

"You were the one who wanted to swim- I just thought this would be a nice spot." Robin pointed out. "Aren't you cold? Your clothes are dry." He reminded him. Not that he usually wore a whole lot more than this, to be fair. David didn't seem bothered though.

"I'm fine. We have the fire. And if that's not enough, there are other ways to stay warm~" He smiled, resting his hands on Robin's shoulder, and his chin on his hands.

His eyes were narrowed in that beckoning manner. David was very good at being enticing. Being handsome helped, but it was his body language that really sold it: languid and open, with eyes that invited you to come a little closer. Robin wanted to come closer, but he wasn't sure he was prepared for what that entailed.

"You gonna knit me a quilt, shepherd boy?" He teased, once again aiming for distraction. David continued to watch him, as if assessing him. His fingers squeezed, and he smiled slightly, before sitting upright again.

"You seem a bit tense, Robin. You were supposed to be relaxing today." He scolded him, crawling so that he was behind him. Robin wasn't sure what he was planning on doing- until he felt his fingers on his shoulders, beginning to rub. "Lucky for you, I am very good at helping people relax." David assured him, gently massaging his upper back. Instinctively, Robin rolled his shoulders, trying to crack his muscles, but David scolded him again. "Just stay still, alright? I'll handle the knots."

"Servants shouldn't have knots." Robin grumbled, but David just clicked his tongue.

"That's why I'm getting rid of them for you. And I'm doing it free of charge, too. Aren't you a lucky one?" He hummed, his thumb making circles at the base of Robin's neck. Somehow, Robin doubted it would be completely free.

Robin tried not to move, but he was already antsy. Having someone's hands all over him felt more bizarre than he could put into words. Even if they were the hands of someone he liked, hands he wanted on him, there was a part of him that wondered if this was allowed, or if he should be wary still. He had to hand it to David, though- he was pretty good at this. His touch was light, but determined, rubbing and kneading until Robin felt like purring. He let his eyes close, focusing on the sensation, the warmth of David's hands...

"There we go... you're starting to feel a bit less stiff." David smiled, his voice close to Robin's ear. He shivered slightly, as David's lips brushed the cusp of his ear for just a moment. He felt him moving his hair off the back of his neck, before he felt his lips on his skin. A tingle rose up his spine, unfamiliar and pleasant.

"I don't think that's a real massage technique." Robin murmured, feeling warm. David chuckled softly.

"I never said I was a professional." He teased, his kisses moving down, along the side of his neck. It felt strange, but left Robin wanting more. He felt like a cat, wanting to stretch out and purr, create more space for David to pay attention to. It was such an alien sensation, this casual yet diligent affection, David trying to pamper and care for him. Robin wasn't the person who was cared for, he was always the person watching over, usually from a distance. Now, he was sitting here, while David massaged and kissed him, touched his body and made him feel like it was something desirable.

He didn't want it to stop, and that was dangerous, because he had absolutely no idea what to do once it escalated.

David continued to massage his shoulders, kissing Robin's jawline, coaxing a soft sound of pleasure from his mouth. He felt David smile against his skin, nuzzling into him with more certainty. David's skin was warm. It felt good, against his- smooth, soft. Robin wondered if it was like that when he was alive, or if it was just one of the little perks the Grail threw out here and there. He was starting to lean on Robin, the massaging growing less and less, and the kissing becoming more focused. The weight of David's body on his made him want more: more contact, more closeness. He felt hungry, but he wasn't sure where to start. So he just let David keep feeding him, eating up what he offered.

At some point, David went from being behind him, to being in front of him, and then he was in Robin's lap, arms draped around his neck, leaning into him. Then, he was on top of him, with Robin's fingers in his hair, the glow of the fire making a halo around him.

Robin could have just kept kissing him for hours. But then he felt David's fingers tracing along the waistline of his briefs, and he paused, his brain blanking. This was the part where he got lost- where following David's lead and making it up as he went along just wasn't enough. He wanted to keep going, to feel that feeling, but if he still struggle to shed the cloak around David, then making a fool of himself while naked didn’t seem like the next step. And he wasn't about to get laughed at for not knowing where to stick what until he inevitably killed the mood. 

Unfortunately, there wasn't enough blood flow currently reaching his head for his brain to be calling the shots. David's fingers eased beneath the fabric, brushing against his skin, and Robin released a shuddering breath. David chuckled softly.

"Someone's excited." He whispered, his breath right in Robin's ear. Robin's everything felt warm. At this rate, Robin thought, they wouldn't even have to do it before he was spent. He was stiff and tingling with anticipation, longing for more, but worrying all at the same time. Because he had never gotten this far, with anyone, and he couldn't help worrying that he was going to make a fool of himself- disappoint or underwhelm David, and find his inexperience the topic of gossip around Chaldea in the coming weeks.

David's fingers danced delicately along, coaxing heavier breathing from Robin, as he watched, his gaze coy. Robin swallowed, trying to steady himself.

"Aren't we supposed to have lube or something?" He asked, always the romantic. As expected, the feeling of the moment faltered somewhat. David seemed amused.

"We don't have to go that far." He chuckled, as if it were obvious, and the blood rushing downward took a brief detour to color Robin’s face with his embarrassment.

"Right. Of course." He forced a laugh. He had assumed David would want to go all the way, with how intent he'd been, kissing him and massaging him, playing around in his pants. But maybe it should have been obvious things wouldn't get that far, given their location, and the lack of 'lube or something'. David was trying not to giggle. At least one of them was entertained... 

Robin wasn't great at hiding his embarrassment, because David could clearly tell. He smiled, brushing Robin's hair away from his face, and kissing his forehead.

"We don't have to do anything, if you're not up for it." He said, soft, understanding. Robin was still embarrassed, but he couldn't deny he was relieved. Being given an easy out meant he didn't have to make any too-obvious excuses.

"I'm up for it. I think you felt that." He chuckled wryly, gazing up into David's gentle eyes. "I'm just... a bit out of practice." That wasn't a lie, exactly. David laughed. He pressed his forehead to Robin's, sharing his warmth, and Robin blushed.

"Then maybe we should wait until we're somewhere a bit more convenient, before getting you back in shape~" David looked at him with a longing that seemed to burn in his eyes, like the low fire beside them, and Robin couldn't help but feel like burning too. Beneath that tiny frame laid someone far more intense than David's appearance suggested. It made Robin wish he knew what the hell he was doing.

"Yeah, alright." He nodded, staring up into David's eyes. He didn't want to break his stare, to break this strange moment between them. It was weird to be desired. To be longed for. To have someone who was interested in more than just a fling and was willing to wait around. It wasn’t what Robin was used to. Not at all. "You'll have to help me practice some more." He joked, but only partially, and David smiled, lowering himself to lie down beside Robin. He snuggled up against him, his body fitting neatly alongside Robin's, just the right size for them both to fit on the sleeping bag.

"I'm looking forward to it." He said, and it really sounded like he meant it.

 

-

 

David had a tendency to disappear sometimes. Usually it didn't matter, because he wasn't needed for anything, but on the rare occasion that he was, their Master sent Robin out to find him, because hey, if anyone is gonna know where he is, it’s the guy who’s sucking face with him all the time, right? 

It was kind of embarrassing, but Robin knew it was unlikely that she wasn’t aware of their relationship. It wasn’t like David had any interest in hiding it. Robin never tried to hide it either, exactly, but he didn’t broadcast it. But hey, it made David happy, didn’t it?

Robin prefered singularities that reminded him of home. Forests and small villages of a certain time period just made him nostalgic. David, on the other hand, prefered rolling hills and fields, which was how Robin knew where to look for him.

He sat on a rock, one leg tucked against his chest, the other dangling down, long grass tickling his toes. His staff leaned against the stone, lying by his side, while his harp sat in his lap. There were sheep near and far, a few grazing near him, looking up as he plucked the strings, playing a song that felt familiar. Back arched slightly, head bent down, his eyes were closed, as he felt his way through the music, at one with the moment. Robin couldn’t bring himself to disturb him. He just looked so right, sitting there. For all the times Robin gave him shit about playing the role of a shepherd, seeing him here with all his sheep, it just seemed natural. Beautiful, even.

The bible had always called David beautiful, but it had also always depicted him as an old dude with a long beard- not a lithe, graceful young man with silky hair and soft skin, a gentle looking pretty boy who could probably pass for an angel if you just gave him a halo. Robin felt himself blushing, the urge to pull his hood over his head powerful. Appearance wasn’t something Robin put a lot of stock in, but in moments like this it just sort of hit him.

The music continued, accompanied only by the wind in the grass, and the softest of humming from David. He seemed to peaceful, so content… Robin wondered where these sheep had come from. Taking a seat, he leaned back, and listened, letting David’s music take him away. When he closed his eyes, he thought he could see the lazy streams David had swam in when he was young.

After awhile, David finally stopped. Robin watched as he opened his eyes, smiling, before his gaze fell upon Robin, and he startled.

“Bravo.” Robin chuckled, as David crossed his legs, looking ever so slightly embarrassed.

“If I’d known I had an audience, I would have charged for tickets.” He replied, a small smile gracing his face. Now that they were dating, Robin could admit to himself that (on top of being beautiful,) it was a very cute face. Especially when he smiled. “How long have you been there?”

“Just a few minutes. Master wanted me to get you. I dunno what for.” Robin shrugged, pushing himself up to his feet. “Where’d you find the flock?”

David reached out to pet one of the sheep, and it twitched its ears cutely in response to his touch.

“They belong to a farmer who lives over in the hills thataway.” He gestured, and when Robin looked, he could see the small house, and the pen the sheep would be kept in. “He’s older, and can’t take them out as much these days. I offered to do it now and then. It’s relaxing. Helps to clear the mind.” 

“Cuz you’ve got so much on yours?” Robin teased. David gave him a sour look. “Is this where you’re always sneaking off to?”

“Is it really sneaking? I only go when I think I’m not needed.” David huffed, unamused. “And I don’t come here that often…”

“Jeez, lighten up, I’m only joking.” Robin put up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I get it. You need a little away time, now and then. The simulations just aren’t enough to make up for it.” He let himself flop in the long grass. A small sheep made its way over to him, sniffing him curiously. “Chaldea is too artificial. Too bland. All those hallways and low ceilings make me anxious.” He admitted. He didn’t usually confess to this sort of stuff, unless it was just generic complaining. Being indoors didn’t come naturally to him, and when he was indoors, he prefered something a bit more organic- wooden walls, high ceilings, plenty of windows and a door that was easy to spot. Chaldea was a pristine maze, and it drove him up the wall. “Sometimes I just need to get out and shoot something, you know?”

He looked up, and saw that David was smiling slightly, his knees tucked to his chest, chin resting atop them.

“Exactly… Sometimes I feel too cramped there. I know my duty as a Servant comes first, but a stir crazy Servant isn’t that useful. So if you really think about it, I’m just making sure that I’ll be more efficient when Master needs me~” He said, and Robin could practically see the little sparkles forming around him as he did. He laughed.

“You don’t have to come up with some convoluted reasoning for it. If you need a break you need a break. There are like, a hundred of us or something. I think Master can go for an hour without you around. And I’m sure she’d understand if she knew.”  Robin reached up to pet the sheep. “So what if you wanna go play shepherd every now and then?”

David slid down from his rock, walking over and sitting down on the other side of the sheep. It continued to graze, unfazed by either of them. There was such a calm look in his eyes, but for some reason, Robin couldn’t help feeling like he looked… sad.

“You come here for any particular reason today?” He asked, sending out some feelers to avoid straight up asking what was wrong. David rested his arm on the sheep, gazing out at the hills.

“Sometimes I forget what it felt like. To be David.” He admitted, sounding distant. “The David I was before I was chosen. When I was just a shepherd, just the youngest son of Jesse.” He said, and that sadness Robin thought he saw could now be heard, despite David’s smile. 

“You forget?” Robin asked, somewhat unsure of himself. “You were summoned at the youngest state you can be as a Servant, right? When you fought Goliath? Shouldn’t you be pretty close to those memories?”

“You would think so… But the truth is, even with this form, the memories of my time on the throne are the most vivid.” David laughed, a weakness to his voice, beneath the attempt to sound carefree. “I don’t always remember how it felt to be a boy with no sight of the future. Just some teenager sitting out in the fields, making up songs and trying not to make my brothers mad.” 

There was a wistful look in his eyes, and Robin found himself imagining it. Lots of people knew the story of David, back in his day, and Robin was no exception, even if he’d been a bit rusty before actually meeting the guy (and yeah, it was always a trip, thinking about how he never would’ve imagined that he'd be making out with King David someday). But he thought about what it must have been like, to be some normal kid one day, and then the next you’re the chosen one. It was strange. Robin had never been a normal kid, really, but he supposed when he was young there had been a time where he hadn’t thought about it much. Back when he’d had his father. When he died was when Robin’s delusions of normalcy all shattered, and he’d had to face reality. Becoming a ‘chosen one’ was more of his own doing than anything else. That was pretty different from being chosen by a higher power, and never having any chance to opt out.

“What were you like as a kid? Do you remember?” Robin asked. David continued stroking the sheep.

“I was a bit boring I think.” He admitted. “I was the youngest of eight boys, so when I was around others, most of my energy went into appeasing them and avoiding conflict. I was very good at sucking up any feelings of frustration or annoyance and getting rid of them with my harp instead of picking fights.” David recounted, looking a bit amused. “I spent most of my time herding sheep, honestly. It was the only time that I could be alone. And when I was alone, I could be myself. I could play music, write, talk to myself. I don’t remember much of it. Just that I couldn’t ever be that with others. I don’t think it was until I went to face Goliath that I ever did something that wasn’t what I was being told to do.”

“Rebel without a cause, huh?” Robin smirked. David laughed.

“I don’t know how much of a rebel I was. After all, it was all a part of God’s plan. I may have been going against my brothers and Saul, but it was for the sake of a greater will.” He mused. “There were times where I went against God’s will of course, and for those actions I was severely punished.” 

David paused, as if realizing he had said more than he wanted to, before chuckling, his gaze cast aside, to a distance Robin couldn’t see. Robin tried to remember, for a moment, just what sorts of punishments David had received, before he remembered the name Absalom, and felt a pit in his stomach. Oh right.

A moment of silence stretched between them, as Robin tried to think of something to say. But how did you talk about something like that? How did  _ he _ , who knew so little about it, who had never gone through anything like that? For a split second, he almost blurted out ‘my dad died when I was eight’, thinking that might somehow make a good segue, but he shot that idea fast. For some reason, he didn’t think comparing tragedies was the way to go.

“Why did you do it, anyway?” Robin asked, before realizing that that was probably just about as insensitive as randomly bringing up his dead dad. Well, maybe not as insensitive, but still, pretty damn tactless. He was already in it though, his mouth working faster than his brain. “I mean, do stuff that you knew would piss God off?”

David looked at him, as if suddenly remembering he was there. Robin didn’t know what to do, so he just kept digging.

“That’s probably a dumb question. I just… After everything he had done for you, why would you just… say ‘screw it?’” Robin pursed his lips, wishing this awkwardness could physically kill him. “Yeah, that’s a dumb question. You don’t have to answer that-”

“Because I was human, I suppose.” David smiled at Robin, sadly yet fondly. There was an airiness to his voice that managed to put Robin somewhat at ease, but he still felt discomforted. “When everything goes your way long enough, and God has chosen you, you reach a point where your hubris outgrows you, and you think that you can do whatever you want.” He smiled, his gaze fixed firmly on the stone he had been sitting on, a grim look in his eyes contradicting his expression. “I let myself think that I had done enough for God, that I deserved to do what I wanted, that I was a good king who had struggled enough and earned a free pass. It was foolish of me, but I am a foolish man.” He chuckled softly. “And I paid the price for my actions, as did everyone before me who bit the hand that fed them.”

Robin nodded, as David stared ahead. He realized that David was gripping his harp tight, his knuckles pale. The sheep beside him baaed softly.

Robin nodded, as David stared ahead. He realized that David’s grip on the sheep’s wool was tight, though the animal didn’t seem to care. 

“That makes sense.” Robin said, after a moment. David looked up at him, once again looking almost surprised to see him sitting there. “I mean, if God told me I was special and helped me out for years, I’m sure I’d start to think I was a real hotshot.” Robin smirked, trying to lighten the mood. David’s face soften somewhat. He smiled.

“Do you really think so? You don’t seem like the kind of person who would ever let your privilege get the better of you.”

Robin blinked, unsure how to respond to that.

“I dunno. If I hadn’t been born some weirdo in a town full of suffering, I don’t think I’d have grown into who I was.” He shrugged. Everything had been due to circumstance, right? David shook his head though.

“You’re too stubborn to just do what people say.” He smiled. “If you were born rich, you still would have kicked up a fuss and tried to help people. And if God had chosen you for something, I can’t imagine you going along with His decisions without quite a bit of resistance, if it didn’t suit your style.” He giggled, and Robin felt himself blushing. It was hard to argue that. He was pretty sure his stubbornness hadn’t come from any particular part of his upbringing- his father had always been a patient man, trying to instill that into his son before he died, but it never stuck. If he’d been chosen by God, he’d probably have wound up stricken down in the first week.

“Whatever, guess we’ll never know.” Robin shrugged. 

“I guess not.” David chuckled. A bit of calm had settled over them now, but Robin still felt awkwardness ebbing at the edges. The sheep began to walk away, leaving a gap between them in the grass. David looked up at the sky. “I wonder how long I’ve been out here now… Master is probably wondering what’s taking you so long to find me.” 

“I don’t think she’s gonna worry too much.” Robin said, choosing to believe it, simply because he wasn’t ready to leave yet. 

David laid down, resting his head on Robin’s outstretched arm. The warmth and weight was still a strange feeling, but overall, it was a pleasant one.

“You know… I think that a part of why I did selfish things was because I wanted to.” David said quietly. “In the moment, I don’t know if I thought about whether it was right or wrong. I just thought, ‘This is for me. This will make me happy.’ And there were only so many times in my life where I did something just for that sake.” His voice was soft, like his hair against Robin’s skin. “Being chosen by God was a blessing that most people would never be able to experience. But it also meant that I would never be just some boy again. I gave myself up to be his servant without even fully realizing it, never consciously questioned it. I think that a part of me just wanted to rebel, because I was tired, of always doing what I was told, and still struggling along the way.” He murmured. Robin turned his head to look at him, and found his eyes fixed on the sky above. 

“I think that’s pretty normal.” Robin said quietly. “Sometimes we just get caught up in our own worlds. Being the king, being God’s special guy... It’d be easy to lose sight of who you actually were, between those roles.”

David nodded, his head rubbing against Robin’s arm.

“That’s why… I wanted to go back.” He said, his voice nearly a whisper. “To be a shepherd again. To be closer to the moments where I was just myself.”

Robin used his arm to pull David a bit closer, wrapping it around his shoulders. David nestled against him, his warmth pressing into him, comforting. 

“But that’s just a bit of selfishness there. I am a Servant, after all. As long as I can help humanity, then the form I’m in doesn’t matter much, right?” David chuckled tiredly. He said stuff like that often, but now Robin was wondering if he ever really meant it, or if he was just trying to convince himself.

“Take a nap, shepherd boy. You’re already nodding off.” Robin urged. David made a noise that sounded like whining, but there was no resistance. Before Robin knew it, David was asleep, and it was just him, lying there with the sheep, and his thoughts.

 

-

 

Robin laid awake in his bed, listening to David snore softly on the other side of the room, as he stared at a ceiling that he couldn't see in the dark. Days had passed since their moment in the field, but Robin's mind kept drifting back to it when he was alone.

It was strange sometimes to think about the gap between them. Even though David had been summoned at an age that was close to Robin's, he had lived an entire lifetime before he'd died, while Robin hadn't even made it past 21. 

David had been married. Dozens of times. He'd had children, and he'd lost some of those children. He'd waged wars, witnessed things Robin had never come close to seeing, and lived to a ripe old age, before slowly slipping away.

He had so much more experience under his belt than Robin. Robin, who wasn't even the real Robin Hood, who died like a rat in the woods without ever really changing anything. It was hard not to wonder what the hell David was doing, wasting his time with some punk ass who'd never even had the chance to consider things like marriage or children.

There was an undeniable distance between them, when it came to who they were, and what they'd accomplished. David was a goddamn biblical king, for fuck's sake. Robin was some loner who lived in the woods and stirred up trouble til he died. David had lived his life as everything Robin was supposed to hate, and he sure as hell had treated David like he hated him for awhile, but for some reason he'd still pursued him. And why?

Was it all a game to David? Was Robin the sheep that just kept wandering away from him no matter how many stones he threw, or how loudly he rang his little bell? Had he just kept chasing because he was bored? Robin didn't know. He couldn't know, cuz there was no way in hell he was going to ask him any of this. But it made him think. Made him lie awake at night like some dumb high schooler fretting about their crush. 'Does he really like me? Is he just using me?' Uhg. Who cared?

David was definitely using him. Robin had accepted that from the start. Up until they'd kissed he'd been a weird little game for David to play, because no one else would pay attention to him, and now he was a nice distraction from all the things he didn't want to think about. Why get bogged down by all the memories of his sins when he could listen to the dumbass thief prattle on about that time he killed two squirrels with one arrow? Or gloat about how he totally pulled one over on that duke that one time, and made off with some useless jewelry that made him feel good about himself for maybe ten minutes? 

Robin was pathetic. He was just some dumb puppy for David to entertain himself with until he got bored, and found someone more interesting and helpful and all around a better partner. And he knew that. Why was he lying awake thinking about this? This wasn't some serious relationship, he wasn't madly in love, counting the days until he could propose. This was a casual relationship with a guy he was already friends with, a way for them both to get a little something more out of whatever was going on between them. 

Robin rolled over, staring into the dark, trying to make out David's form. He couldn't see him, but he could hear his body rising and falling with each breath. It was amazing how just knowing someone was there, sharing his space, could be so comforting. It meant more to Robin than he could understand. David meant more to him than he could understand. And deep down, Robin knew that the reason he was lying here driving himself crazy was because to him, this wasn't casual. He didn't want to play with David until he got bored and then move onto someone else. He didn't want to be a game to keep David occupied. He wasn't in love, but he liked David a lot, and the thought that he and David were not on the same page made him feel like shit. 

Realizing just how much space was between them only served to remind him of that fact. Robin had read too far ahead, gotten invested in the story, but now he was afraid David might get bored and put the book down before he ever caught up to Robin. And it wasn't the sort of story you could keep enjoying on your own.

It wasn't fair. David had his farm, his sheep, and Robin- so many different ways to escape. Robin didn't have anything.

 

-

 

Robin Hood was a coward and a thief and a good for nothing, and if there was one thing a good thief knew, it was that nice things didn't belong in shabby places. It stood out, and everyone could see that it wasn't in its rightful place- and then you got in trouble. You only took something pretty if you were going to sell it to someone else. And David, he was a nice thing. So he didn't belong with Robin. And David was going to see that eventually. So he might as well see it now.

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow- thank you guys so much for the comments! I honestly wasn't expecting to get any sort of feedback on this, besides from a few of my friends who I've dragged into this ship haha. I really appreciate it, and I'm so glad that you enjoyed the first chapter! Hopefully the bumpy part won't be too much to handle!


	3. The one with the angst

Everything smelled like chocolate, and Robin was starting to get sick to his stomach from it all. It was too sweet for his tastes. Valentine's Day was coming up around the corner, and all the girls were making chocolates, and a lot of the guys too, because fuck gender roles, right? So every kitchen was crowded, and even the slightest glance in the direction of someone else's cooking resulted in vicious snapping that it wasn't for him, it was for Master Only, don't you dare breathe in her direction on Valentine's Day if you value your life, etc. Okay, so maybe most of those things were coming from Kiyohime, but still- the kitchens were a dangerous territory this week.

He was hanging out with David, because apparently that was all he ever did, which was going to make things pretty awkward pretty soon. Even he wasn't safe from the Valentine's Day spirit, skimming through catalogues and cook books idly as he babbled on about how economical a holiday Valentine's was. Robin tried to listen, but the construction paper hearts and the sugar in the air made it hard to focus.

"The traditions differ from country to country. Master told me that where she's from, it's common for women to give chocolate to men on Valentine's Day, and then a month later, the men will give them a present in return on something called White Day." David explained.

"Guess that means we're both off the hook then." Robin smirked. "Hope you weren't expecting any chocolate from me, green bean." He attempted to keep his tone light, but it still came out a bit more savage than he meant it to. David didn't seem to notice though, looking at him with a playful glint in his eye.

"That's alright. I'm sure there will be plenty of lovely ladies ready to express their love to me at long last." David said airily. It was a joke. And Robin knew that. But it still hit the wrong way.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, his voice tight. "You just waiting for one of them to come to their senses and throw themselves at you?"

"Well, that would be ideal, but I'm a realistic man." David chuckled. "For now, I'll just accept their heartfelt gifts of chocolate." He glanced at Robin, and then winked. "But don't worry, I'll share whatever I get with you."

"Wow. How romantic. My heart's melting." Robin replied in a deadpan. His chest felt like it was being constricted. David seemed to have noticed that something wasn't right, looking at him with a hint of concern in his eyes.

"Is everything alright, Robin?" He asked, frowning slightly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be? I mean, boy, who wouldn't want their date's leftovers on Valentine's Day?" Robin asked brightly, a look of mock enthusiasm on his face. "I should be lucky just to get some scraps, right?"

David's expression changed, concern growing. He masked it with a smile.

"I was only joking, Robin." He said gently, in a tone that sounded passive.

"Oh, I know. All of this is a joke, isn't it?" Robin asked dryly. He felt trapped in his seat, but standing up felt too confrontational, so he remained where he was, awkwardly sitting on the edge. "I mean, dating some loser while you wait for a better option? Offering your leftovers as a consolation prize? And hey, if things don't pan out, at least you've got your pretend relationship to fall back on, right?" He felt so bitter, like he was hacking up bile. Saying it out loud hurt more than he had expected it to. But what else was he supposed to do? Sit back quietly while David floated on happily to the next person who could make him feel good about himself?

David looked like Robin had kicked his puppy into a pond right in front of him. For a moment, he was quiet, trying to pull his thoughts together.

"I'm sorry, Robin, I didn't realize this was something you were sensitive about... I didn't intend to make you feel neglected." He sounded anxious, but guilty too. Robin wanted to believe him. Maybe he even thought he meant it himself. But Robin wasn't an idiot. "I'm very happy with you. I'm not expecting any gifts from anyone else."

Here, Robin had walked himself into a nice little corner, where his only options were A) leap off the ledge and continue to fight the issue, or B) confess his tender fears of being abandoned by his schoolboy crush. Obviously, Robin was going to do a swan dive.

"I'm not an idiot, David. I know how these things go. And if you just wanna take what you can get, that's fine. But I don't want to sit around and be your backup plan for when you can't get anything better." He felt like an asshole saying it, even in his bitterness. There had to be a nicer way of putting it, but he wasn't a nice guy. So maybe this was for the best- show his true colors now, end things on his own terms. It would still hurt, but at least he could say he'd chosen the pain.

David's face had fallen, confusion filling his eyes. It was more emotion than he usually showed, more pain than he ever let anyone see. He opened his mouth, like he wanted to say something, then closed it, the words not leaving.

"I didn't know you felt that way." He finally uttered, his voice straining ever so slightly. There was an implicit 'Is that really how you think of me?' in there, but Robin was trying his best to ignore it. A part of him was searching frantically for an exit, a way to say 'just kidding!' or 'wow this was a bad joke, sorry, love you', but he knew it was too late. Robin was really good at making his bed, and so he'd become pretty good at lying in it.

"I just don't think this is gonna work out." Robin wondered how he could sound so calm, when inside he felt like a madman tearing the room apart. "I mean... We want different things, y'know? We're really different people... You want a hundred wives, I've never even had one."

"Where is this coming from...? You've ever said anything about this before." David said. Robin was surprised that he was holding on at all. He would have expected David to agree with him, to offer him a 'we'll always be friends' before moving off to find someone less of an asshole than Robin. "I really was joking about the chocolates, Robin... I know I'm not getting any from anyone, that's why I said it. I was being sarcastic." David's voice was weak. He rarely looked like a king, but right now, he really, _really_ didn’t look like one. Just a sad, confused boy.  

"It's not... It's not about the chocolates." Robin said, shaking his head. "The chocolates are just an example. You want more than what I can give, and honestly, that's fine. I just..." Want to leave you before you leave me? Want to cut you out before I get hurt? Neither of those were acceptable statements, even if they were true. "I just think that if things aren't going anywhere, then we should end things now. Stuff gets messy when you start attaching strings to it." He tried to smile, to smooth things over, but he knew he'd come in here with knives, and it wouldn't be that easy. David pursed his lips, staring at Robin like he had marched in and told him he was taking everything that mattered to him.

"I see..." He said, doing his very best to sound strong and unfazed. It was not working. "If that's how you really feel, then... That's fair. I just... Think you should know, that I don't consider you something to fall back on." He looked at Robin seriously, almost desperately. "I enjoy all the time we spend together... You make me very happy. And I would be happy to devote more time to you, if you think that I am too focused on finding wives. But if you really think that things are getting too messy..." David bit his lip. Robin didn't understand why this was so hard for him. Even if he was really fond of him, even if he enjoyed their time together, Robin wouldn't hold that interest forever, right? It was easier just to let go now, wasn't it?

"Alright. I'm, uh, glad we're on the same page. Good talk." Robin nodded. He wasn't sure what to do now. This had gone better than he'd expected, but of course, he wasn't happy. David smiled at him, but it was very clearly fake.

"Ah... I forgot, Master wanted me to help with preparations for Valentine's Day... I should go." He announced, rising from his seat. Robin nodded, watching him go. David paused by the door, looking back at him for a moment. He offered his phony smile again, and then disappeared.

Robin watched the spot where he had been for a long time after he was gone, and wondered if he'd made the right choice.

 

-

 

Apparently breaking up with David didn't change much.

David didn't sleep in their room that night, but the next morning he was by Robin's side again, acting as if nothing had happened. And by nothing, Robin meant their entire romantic relationship. David approached him like a friend, sat with him at lunch and pointed out which Servants he thought were cute, and was his back up on a training mission. Everything went smoothly, with no awkwardness on David's side.

Really, it was all perfect, and if Robin were a decent person, he would have been utterly relieved. But he was a piece of shit, apparently. He knew he should be happy. This was what he had wanted, right? Gift horses, and all that. But it was so easy for David, to go from one channel to the other. Almost like it hadn't meant a damn thing.

It was selfish. Childish, really, and Robin knew it. He should have been glad, that he'd ended it when he had, if it really meant this little. But somehow that just made it hurt all the more.

How could he just plop back beside him and talk so casually about which girl he thought would be the best to get chocolate from? How could he joke with him, teasingly call him his mentor, like they were back where they'd been before? Robin was torn, between wanting to roll with it, and wanting to cry. Because fuck, it wasn't fair, that he cared so much, and David didn't care at all. That this person had gotten him hooked, made him like him, made him feel more than that, and then could let it go with so little resistance. What had happened to that longing, that desire? Was that something he could flip on and off too?

"What's your favorite kind of chocolate, Robin?" David asked, only three days before Valentine's Day, and Robin had to bite down any snarky responses.

"Didn't have chocolate when I was alive. Don't think they had it where you were either." He replied snappily.

"No, but you've had it since you were summoned, right? You've tried it before?" David continued to pester. Robin suppressed any urges to sigh.

"Yeah, I have. I guess I like dark chocolate. And mint. But I'm not picky, really." He said dully.

"Those are good flavors! I like white chocolate myself. There's a type that has little chunks of cookie in it, that's very good. But I'm more a fan of hard candies, to be quite honest." David babbled on, too damn chipper for his own good.

"No surprise there, grandpa." Robin smirked. David pouted slightly.

"What? You don't like hard candies? It's nice, having something to suck on." He gave Robin a suggestive wink, leaning in a little too close, and Robin shoved him.

"Knock it off. No one likes a grandpa with his mind in the gutter." He said sourly. David pouted again, but fell quiet, walking alongside Robin in silence. It was not a comfortable one.

 

-

 

Sharing your room with your ex was awkward as hell. Especially when your ex started coming back later and later, looking more and more disheveled before crashing into bed.

It was none of Robin's business. He had no right to be jealous. But damn, seeing his point proven and rubbed in his face stung like hell, and what did you know, choosing the pain didn't make it hurt any less.

Valentine's Day finally came, and David waltzed in looking much too proud, holding a modest little box behind his back, and doing a poor job of hiding it.

"Good afternoon, Robin~" David smiled, teetering back and forth on his feet. There was a nervous energy to him that Robin really wasn't in the mood for.

"Hey." He replied, not looking up from the table. The book he was reading wasn't interesting, but he really, really did not want to see David showing off his haul, no matter how small it was.

"You don't seem to be in a very good mood." David frowned, his teetering slowing to a standstill. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh yeah, I'm super." Robin said dryly, flashing David a sarcastic grin. Could grins be sarcastic? Well, this one was. Very much so. David looked uncertain for a moment, but he covered it up well.

"Well, I have something that I think will make you feel better~" David said, his voice sing song, the box behind him rattling slightly. Robin stood up. He couldn't deal with this.

"If you wanna show off your Valentine's candy, do you think you could find someone who isn't, you know, your ex?" Robin asked, giving him a stern look. Once again, David looked surprised, as if Robin had taken his candy and chucked it at the wall rather than requested not to see it. "Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled someone gave some to you, but why would you think that I would want to see them?"

David stood stiffly now, the chocolates hanging at his side. It was a nice box, if a little plain. Dark green, with a soft, gold-colored bow. David's expression was scathing.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize that when you ended things, that was a termination of our friendship as well." David said tightly.

"It wasn't. But if you were a good friend, you'd know better than to flash around the fact that you've already found someone else who's interested in you!" Robin snapped. His chest hurt. His stomach, too. He felt sick, bringing this back up, but he didn't know what else to do, because he really couldn't handle this. He was an idiot. He should have known better. No strings attached, that was the spiel he always gave their Master, his deal, so why had he let himself get involved with someone he actually gave a damn about?

David was glaring at him. Actually glaring. Robin wasn’t sure he’d ever seen him glare before.

“First thing is first, Robin, the chocolates aren’t for me.” David said tersely. He let those words hang in the air for a moment, long enough for humiliation to begin its burn in Robin’s face. “Secondly… You were the one who wanted to end things. You’re only my ‘ex’ because you wanted to be.” His voice was still tight.

“Yeah, well, you really haven’t seemed that torn up about it.” Robin said. He knew this wasn’t fair, to David. To end things abruptly and then give him shit for dealing with it graciously. He should have just let David show him the chocolates. He should have just let things go, the other day, let Valentine’s day swim by without incident. None of this would be so messy, now, if he had. “I know I said I wanted to end things. Cuz I knew you were gonna get bored of me and move on, whether I did or not. And so far, it seems like I was right.” Robin was such asshole. He was such a dirty, pathetic asshole. David looked pissed, and really, Robin couldn’t blame him.

“Forgive me for not avoiding you as much as possible, and appearing miserable in your company. For some reason, I thought you might feel guilty, if you saw how upset I was. I didn’t realize you were hoping to see my misery.” David looked like he wanted to throw something at him, but he held the chocolates tightly, despite his quivering hand. Robin felt the twist of guilt in his stomach, battling with his anger, reinforcing just how unfair he was being. “Honestly, Robin, I don’t know why you’re so convinced that I can move on with such ease. In case you’ve forgotten, there are only so many people in Chaldea who can withstand my presence.” He laughed, bitter. “I have never done anything in this place but make a nuisance of myself. I am well aware of how insufferable most people find me. Even you couldn’t stand me at the start.”

Robin didn’t know what to say to that. Because yeah, a lot of people thought that, but he hadn’t realized David was aware of his standing in Chaldea- much less that he actually cared.. Once upon a time, he might have been pleased that David had acknowledged his faults- might have told him good, now knock it off. But he knew David now, and knew that that wasn’t all there was to him. Seeing him in distress over it was the opposite of satisfying.

He wanted to stop David, to tell him that it wasn’t that he couldn’t stand him, just that he hadn’t known him yet, and yeah sure, he might have some edges that could be smoothed out, but that didn’t mean he was insufferable, but David wasn’t ready to stop.

“Did you really think I was expecting to get chocolates this valentine’s day?” He asked, starting to smile, despite the harshness in his voice. “Did you really think that those times I spoke of finding a new wife, that I really believed I could win over anyone here? Me, who laughs off his mistakes, so that it’s easier to ignore them? Me, who cannot keep his opinions to himself, no matter how inane they are? No, Robin. I am very aware of the fact that nobody in this place has any gifts to give me. I would be very skeptical if I received one from even our Master.” He laughed again, bitter and strained.

Robin stood there, letting him seethe, because he didn’t know what else to do. Somehow, while thinking about how pretty David was, and fretting over him getting bored, Robin had forgotten that David was a person with his own inner world of thoughts and emotions.

“I’m glad that I’ve been able to convince you that I am a stupid, happy fool, with no feelings besides lust. That’s how I aim to be seen, after all, so I should be happy.” David laughed miserably. His eyes were glimmering, but he kept smiling, shakily, forcing his expression to remain as pleasant as possible. Robin couldn’t help recalling what he had said, out in the field.

_I was very good at sucking up any feelings of frustration or annoyance and getting rid of them with my harp instead of picking fights._

So that was why it had been so easy to forget, then. Robin felt a pang of guilt. He’d been so caught up in his fears, he hadn’t stopped to realize that David had plenty of his own.

“David-” Robin started, but there was no point. The tears were falling now.

“Of course I know no one here cares for me. What have I ever done to earn it? I don’t even know why our aster keeps me here.” He cried. “I am not King David. I’m not even the Shepherd David. I’m some i-between, not even at my best! I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter, as long as I can serve as a cog in the machine that will save humanity, but I can't even do that right!" The tears dripped down his face, his smile a faltering mess. "I put my own feelings before our mission, my own interests before our goal." He choked, a sob gripping his voice.

Robin didn’t know what to do. To stand there in silence? To comfort him? How could he even? Would David even want him, the asshole who had reduced him to a crying mess, to try and make him feel better? Standing there in silence seemed like the only response he could muster, anyway. He was a real keeper, honestly. No wonder David was bummed about the breakup. Who wouldn't want a piece of shit like him?

"The worst part was I couldn't even talk to anyone about it." David sobbed. His smile had finally fallen away, a miserable frown spread across his teary face. His hands were balled into fists at his sides, his eyes scrunched shut. "Because you were the only person here who cared about me. But you were smart enough to push me away."

"Woah, hey... I didn't do anything smart." Robin finally spoke up, David’s words hooking him enough to pull back. "I acted like a chicken shit and broke up with you 'cuz I was scared you were gonna dump me for being too inexperienced and boring."

David hiccuped, reaching up a hand to rub his eyes. He looked so miserable, so confused, staring at Robin like he didn’t understand a word he said. Robin forced himself to walk over to him, putting his hands on his shoulders.

"I freaked out, okay? I started overthinking stuff." He said, doing his best to keep his voice gentle. "I thought that... That I was more invested than you were. And that you were going to get bored, and move onto someone who you had more in common with." He bit his lip, already feeling pathetic for saying it out loud. Being vulnerable? That stuff was how you got hurt. But he was already hurt, so what did it matter now? How the hell could it get worse? Fuck himself- he'd hurt David, without even thinking about it. He deserved to hurt.

"Why would I get bored of you?" David asked, genuinely confused. Robin hesitated. He didn’t really want to say it all, but at this point, it would be pretty difficult not to.

"Because... I don't know, you've lived a whole life, accomplished so many things, and I... I'm just some nobody who happened to make a name for himself. Not even my own name. I just fit the bill well enough to wind up in the Throne of Heroes." He shifted uncomfortably. "I kept thinking that after awhile, the novelty would wear off, and you'd realize I only had so many stories to tell. And you'd want to find someone who you wouldn't get tired of talking to."

David's eyes wavered, a new wave of sadness spilling down his face.

"Robin... Is that really what you've been thinking? That I would just grow tired of you?" He asked, in a voice that sounded heartbroken. Robin glanced aside, more guilt welling, as he wondered if he'd made things worse.

"I mean... No offense, seriously, but... You had a lot of wives. I couldn't stop thinking that you would keep looking for someone else, and then realize everyone else had a lot more to offer than me." Robin sighed. He hated this, confessing his fears, revealing how little he really thought of himself. But he owed it to David, at least, to let him know why he'd suddenly decided to make his life miserable. "And besides the wife thing, just... you had kids. You lived to be an old man. I lived maybe a fourth of your life, and I didn't do even a tenth of the stuff you did. Is it really a stretch to think that I might not have what it takes to hold your attention forever?"

David was still crying, but it was more controlled now. He leaned his head on Robin's shoulder, hugging onto him as he sobbed, gently.

"Robin... You make me happy." He said, which sounded pretty ridiculous right now, with tears streaming down his face. "You've always been there by my side, since I was summoned here. Given me time when no one else would. Scolded me when I was out of line. When you pushed me away, you would still let me back in afterward... You never iced me out. When I needed help, or just wanted company, you would let me stay... I always felt comfortable with you." He sniffed. "I can talk to you about anything, be it big or small... You always have something clever or amusing to say. Your view of the world is different than mine, but it's refreshing, and I love watching you fight for your beliefs, even if it’s only in little ways." He looked at Robin, a warmth emanating from his gaze. "I love learning things from you, watching you open up in different ways... You make me feel like I can be whoever I want to be."

Robin felt warm. He didn't know what to do with these words. He knew they weren't lies, but somehow, they still didn't feel like they could be about him. Hesitantly, he began to pat David's back, trying to comfort him more. David smiled weakly.

"It was a lot of small things... But they meant a lot to me. And you... never seemed to have that many friends, either. So I thought that maybe, you were as lonely as I was."

Robin closed his eyes, as he held David gently. He’d just had to go and hit the nail on the head, huh?

“I’m sorry, David.” He murmured. “This may come as a shock to you, but I’ve never actually been in any sort of relationship before.” He admitted. He really didn’t have room to feel embarrassed anymore, but somehow, he still managed it. “I’ve never had to… work through issues, boyfriend or regular friend, or anything like that. When I couldn’t ignore my problem, my first instinct was to just… jump ship.” A dumb, rash way of handling things, but a way nonetheless.

David sniffled. He had calmed down considerably, resting against Robin, but he was still shaking slightly.

“The fault is mine as well. I was very forward with you. I pushed things along too fast, I’m sure… I was just so happy, when you reciprocated my affection…” David traced circles on Robin’s cloak, fidgeting. “I should have been more aware of the pace you were keeping, and tried to match it.” He said guiltily.

“I’m not the best at expressing things that aren’t sarcastic. I dunno how you could’ve known, when I never said anything til I was ending it.” Robin muttered. He hadn’t been very graceful about any of this, from start to finish. And now… What exactly did they do from here? It seemed clear neither of them really wanted things to be done with, but Robin wasn’t sure he could squash all his fears in one conversation, even with David’s reassurance. And he didn’t want David to have to deal with it, if those fears came to rear their ugly head again.

David hugged him, pressing his face into Robin’s shoulder. Robin started to pet his hair. It hadn’t been that long, but he missed it, he realized. He’d gone for so long without contact, and then David had given it to him- he had started to get used to it before he even knew it.

“What do you wanna do now?” Robin asked quietly.

“Ah-” David pulled away suddenly, startling Robin. “I know that we broke up, but I was… planning on giving these to you, anyway.” David held the chocolate box to him, looking a bit embarrassed. “I had intended to use them as an icebreaker, to ask if you would consider taking me back. But I suppose things happened a bit differently than planned.” He smile, small and soft.

Robin stared at the box for a good moment, the gears in his head starting to click. Hesitantly, he took it, tugging at the ribbon so that he could open the box. Inside were twelve pieces of dark chocolate, all shaped awkwardly to look like little birds. Robin looked at them, just taking them in, still trying to register the fact that they had been for him all along.

“Did you… make these yourself?” He asked, looking at David. David was looking down at the box, a gentle smile on his face. Suddenly, Robin recalled him asking what his favorite type of chocolate was. And David slipping away in the evenings, and coming back looking disheveled and tired…

“It was a bit more difficult than I expected to get all the ingredients… But I had wanted to make you something, before we broke up. I just waited a bit too long to start gathering materials.” He chuckled. Robin didn’t think he’d ever seen him looking so bashful. His eyes had started to sting.

“These are… These are cute.” He said, picking one up. “Can I eat them?” He asked, before realizing what a dumb question that was.

“Of course! Go ahead! Let me know what you think.” David smiled eagerly. Robin picked one up, feeling it between his fingers for a second. It was a bit oddly shaped, but it wasn’t too lumpy. He took a bite. Dark chocolate, with a bit of mint in the middle. Wow.

“They’re good.” He said, mouth full. He wasn’t sure if he felt good or like shit right now. The feelings were balancing each other out. Either way, he felt like crying. He realized he should probably say something like 'thank you', but it didn't feel like enough. He put the box down, admiring the clumsily shapen birds a moment longer. If it was the thought that counted, then these counted for a lot.

"I'm glad." David smiled. He looked relieved, if exhausted from the outburst of emotion. Robin couldn’t blame him. "I... Am sorry, if all my talk of Valentine's Day and getting chocolates made it seem like I was more interested in other people than you, Robin. I really was only joking. And I wanted these to be a surprise, so I didn't want to tip you off..."

"Thank you, David. For the chocolates.” Robin cut him off. David had already made it clear to him- he didn’t have to explain himself to him again. “It's a really good present." Probably the nicest present he'd ever received. He wanted to hug David, or something, but he wasn't sure if that was alright. Right now, he wanted everything to go back to how it had been a week ago, but he knew it wouldn't happen so quickly. "I... really love it." He said it quietly, but he meant it. David smiled warmly, looking genuinely happy. "Now I feel even worse for not making you anything." He joked. He didn't feel like he deserved these chocolates, really, but if giving them to him made David happy, then that was the important part, right?

"That's what White Day is for, remember?" David teased. Robin felt a smile tugging at his lips.

"Guess I'll have to shell out, then."

"Don't go broke on my account, Robin." David's nose wrinkled at the thought. "My conscience wouldn't feel right if I let you make such an unwise investment." He shook his head.

"You saying you're an unwise investment?" Robin raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "Well, your words, not mine." He chuckled, as David smiled mysteriously. "So, uh, speaking of business ventures and all that... from your professional standpoint, what would you say would be the most efficient way of making up with my boyfriend?" He asked, tugging at his collar. Part of him expected David to laugh at him, but instead, his eyes widened, and his mysterious smile became a happy one.

"I believe I could give you some advice on those matters..." David smiled, draping his arms around Robin's neck. Robin felt a rush of warmth, both joy and relief, as he hugged David close.

"I'm still probably gonna be an idiot for awhile," Robin said, his voice muffled against David's shoulder. "So I'm not sure I'm the wisest investment either..."

"I don't mind a good gamble now and then." David smiled quietly, letting the weight of his body rest against Robin. Robin couldn't help but chuckle, smiling against David's skin.

"Look at that- we do have something in common."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who read and commented on this! I'm really grateful that people took the time to read this, and happy that you actually enjoyed it! I'm happy I could share this pairing with people, and hopefully I will be able to share more of it in the future! I hope that this is a satisfying enough ending for everyone. Thank you again for reading, and for your comments <3 I really appreciated it all ^_^


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